Natalie was born in May of 2006 and at the time it was recommended that you do not introduce peanut products to your kids until age 2 in fear of allergic reaction. As a first time mom, I was a "rule follower" and did everything by the book. I ate well during my pregnancy, took my prenatal vitamins, read books, bought products that were doctor recoomended, etc. I read books and did everything I thought was right. We DO NOT have a family history of peanut and nut allergies or asthma. Never would I have thought I'd have a child with both peanut/ nut allergies and asthma. Poor kiddo got the short end of the stick.
Natalie was just 2 1/2 years old when we discovered she had a peanut/ nut allergy, and how we happened to find out she had an allergy was a "best case scenario". I say that because she was with her grandma who also happens to be a nurse. While helping Grandma roll out dough for peanut butter cookies, Natalie broke out in hives, began to swell, and the areas the dough came into contact with were most inflamed. (Note, she never actually ate the dough- just rolled it out). Grandma immediately called me, gave her Benadryl and got her in the bathtub to wash the areas. After getting her out of the tub, and allowing the Benadryl to do it's thing, the swelling and hives had greatly reduced; however, we still went to the ER.
Though the emergency room doctor could not confirm her allergy, he told us it was safe to say she probably was allergic and that we needed to avoid peanuts and nuts until he was old enough to do allergy testing to confirm. An epinephrin pen was prescribed and our "journey" began.
Over the next couple years we closely monitored Natalie's health and struggled at times as she was also diagnosed with asthma. Having both asthma and a peanut/ nut allergy increases the severity of the reaction greatly. When Natalie was old enough, we began allergy testing in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Check out their site for more information https://lacrosseallergy.comThrough a series of allergy tests, we learned Natalie has many allergies, not just peanuts and nuts. Trees, dust, mold, cats, dogs.... With that, we decided to do immunotherapy which basically is a very small amount of the allergy(s) delivered in a liquid drop form under the tongue three times a day for a few years. To make a long story short, we were very happy with our decision to do allergy drops with Natalie. Though these drops are not cheap and are not covered by health insurance, we did see results! From Natalie's first exposure to peanuts and nuts compared to the ones she has had since, the severity of the reaction has been greatly reduced! Natalie may not ever be 100% allergy free, but as parents we both feel that doing immunotherapy has given Natalie a much needed immune boost.
When I was in school you never heard of people having peanut and nut allergies. It's becoming "common" anymore and something almost every school has to deal with. When it comes to school's needing to be peanut and nut free I have a flood of emotions.
Usually when people "rant" about how schools have to be peanut/nut free, I just let them talk... let them vent their frustrations... all while I quietly sit and listen. "It's not fair that I can't send my son's favorite sandwich to school with him!" "How come schools allow pop and candy bars? My kid has diabetes and he can't eat that stuff... are they going to ban that too?" "It's not the school responsibility to make things peanut free." "Why should we change everything for just one kid?" I usually let them voice their opinions and frustrations, and when they're done, I bolding say "My kid has a peanut and nut allergy and I get it. I know how you feel. I understand where you're coming from."
...I know that my kid's allergies affect your kid. I know that my kid's allergies prevents you from sending a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with your kid to school. I know that my kid's allergies prevent you from sending homemade goodies to school. I know that my kid's allergies means you have to buy prepackaged items. I know that my kid's allergies causes inconveniences. I know that my kid's allergies mean you have to read labels on food before sending it to school. I know that my kid's allergies makes you uncomfortable and prevents you from inviting her to parties. I know that my kid's allergies impacts your child and your household to an extent and it just seems unfair. I know. I KNOW!
And guess what? I don't like it either. I don't like that my daughter's personal health concerns impact others. I don't like feeling as though others are having to "accommodate" for her. And you know what- Natalie doesn't like the feeling either. I don't like that parents can't send an inexpensive, yummy PB & J to school. I don't like many things about Natalie's health concerns, but I also know that we're not alone. I know that there are other allergies (dairy, eggs, strawberries, etc.) in school there are kids with other health concerns that are being met. My question to you is, have you ever thought about it from our perspective? That the person with the allergies and the family also do not like it and the impact it has on others. We do not like the inconvenience it causes and the extra hand washing it requires. We don't like anything about it, but we also know that their lives depends on it.
We live in a world that is very much focused on ourselves. Our main concerns are our own needs, rather than others. We live in a world where it's easier to complain about something than to be a part of the solution. We're all guilty on some level, myself included. And this my friends, is part of the problem. Rather than focusing on how it inconveniences you to have to send a ham sandwich instead of peanut butter sandwich to school, try putting yourself in their shoes. How do you think they feel?
This applies to all situations, not just those with peanut/ nut allergies. How about the kid who has to be excluded from activities because he has epilepsy and could possibly have a seizure? What about the kid who is autistic? The kid who is in a wheelchair? The kid who is hearing impaired? Do you think any of those kids would choose to have these "problems"? No. Absolutely not. Stop and put yourself in their shoes and please know that these kids do not want your sympathy. They do not want to cause you inconveniences. They do not want to be excluded or labeled as "different" because of their health needs. They want to be "normal". They want to be healthy. Just like everyone else. This was not a choice for them. Living with health issues is not easy and yes, it does impact others at times... we know.
Now, I must say we are very fortunate that we have family and friends that are very understanding and aware of Natalie's needs. Just because she has a peanut/nut allergy does not mean you have to throw out all the peanut products in your house in order to have her come over. It does not mean you have to exclude her or make her feel different. It does not mean you cannot eat peanut products yourself. It does however mean you have to be aware and careful.
Brian (Natalie's dad) loves peanut butter and eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the time. We have peanut butter, peanut and nut products in the house and Natalie is still alive!! If we eat things that contain peanuts/ nuts we simply clean the area where it was prepared and wash our hands when we're done eating. Pretty simple. We also check labels and make sure she is not served anything containing those ingredients.
School will be starting up again before you know it and the letter from the school nurse will be coming home I'm sure. As you read through the list of "allowed treats" please, please, please know that I understand how you feel. I'm not naive. I get it. I know it can be frustrating. I know it can seem unfair. I know, I know, I know... But please also know that we want the same thing you want... what's best for our kid.
